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 Ask A Spitelord 
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Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 11:06 am
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Dear Spitelords,

My downstairs neighbors won't stop blasting R&B music 24/7. I don't want to kill them because then I'll go to jail. What should I do?

-Squigg


Sat Aug 13, 2005 10:55 am
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Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:38 pm
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Why not fight fire with fire? If you happen to be a death metal/black metal fan then you should already have all the tools you need. Just crank up your stereo and blast music right back at them.

If you don't have any loud, evil music in your collection, may I suggest the following:

- Cradle of Filth (Dani Filth's inhumanely high-pitched screams are enough to repel all but the toughest of ears)
- Meshuggah (this band have possibly the heaviest sound in existence, thanks to their 8-string guitars. Get "Nothing", a slow, creeping, heavy album, and turn the bass up high)
- Britney Spears (more evil than all of the world's black metal bands combined. Ten seconds of this should get the job done)


Sat Aug 13, 2005 11:31 am
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I apperieciate you trying to help, but I think they would just crank up the R&B even louder, so they could hear it. The other thing is that this is "Ask the Spitelords".


Sat Aug 13, 2005 11:55 am
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I know it is, I just felt like giving my opinion, that's all. Those R&B people need to be taught a lesson, dangit!


Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:11 pm
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Here's an idea, tell them to turn the music down. If they don't, call the cops.


Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:26 pm
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2002 7:00 pm
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We live in a great age when even the slightest hint of terrorism is met with a nice, indefinite trip to Guantanamo Bay, regardless of evidence. Just call up the proper authorities, and tell them you heard muffled, joyful ululating and Allah-prasing coming from his apartment after the London bombings.

This will work doubly well, since it sounds like--from the choice of music--a non-caucasion you're dealing with. Even before the Patriot Act, cops have had a long tradition of not needing any evidence to severely beat and detain minorities. It also wouldn't hurt to say you've seen underage white girls frequenting his residence. That's the cop equivalent of dumping blood into a shark tank.

God Bless America!


Sat Aug 13, 2005 1:13 pm
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Ah, that sounds perfect. Thank you.


Sat Aug 13, 2005 8:52 pm
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I was wondering... This "Mirm's Task" thing. I found out what it entails but who/what was Mirm? Is it something that happens/has happened on a regular basis around here? I find the thought vaguely disquieting.


Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:41 am
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Mirm was the member who finally pissed me off enough to merit the creation of Mirm's Task.

There are different kinds of hypocrisy--"blatant" is my least favorite variety.


Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:03 pm
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Ah. Then I would take from your comments to Televkun that this 'Mirm' creature was calling people up on spelling/grammar errors while making numerous mistakes itself?

I had envisaged an epic quest that he/she/neuter had embarked upon in order to restore honour or peace or some other noble aspiration. This version isn't as satisfying- it's funnier though!


Last edited by Munky on Tue Aug 16, 2005 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:26 pm
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Everything here is steeped in boisterous legend. Once, there was even tell of a King of the Newbs--a user so adept that s/he/it would rescue all hi/r/ts kin from perdition, and certainly from the trials of THE LAST STARFIGHTER...

But only the wet, wicked, and foolhardy grant that myth any creedence; no, better to learn to coexist than to forge new paradigms. The crown itself lies still as lead, unworn for countless years. When I was in your shoes, however, the only thing that kept me going, sometimes, was the promise that such a king would arise--and the second, more important promise: that s/he/it would give everybody ice cream.


Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:38 am
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I have tried my damn-dest to avoid being put through that trial. I feel like I am doing a good job... and to be honest I feel like this forum is making me a better person.

Image[/img]


Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:47 pm
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Wasn't the KoN supposed to bring us cookies and sweets? I get ice cream a-plenty but am severly lacking on the cookie front.


Wed Aug 17, 2005 2:47 am
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I think the actual snack food of the legend is chimeric; so, yes.


Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:05 pm
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Dear spitelords, I have a semi-serious question.
I have been feeling really sick to my stomach lately, (more than usual)
But I really don't like going to the doctor because she just sits me down and bitches about the very obvious.
i.e: You're not eating, you're stressed, ect.
I'm not eating as much and I am stressed because of financial problems beyond my control, and I am trying to fix that by getting another job, but going to the doctor only makes things worse because then I have medical bills and shit.

Should I just suck it up and deal with my irritating doctor and tell her to give me drugs or should I just deal with being sick until I get that job and can actually fix it the way she suggested?


Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:46 pm
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Pepto Bismol. I rarley ever take medicine, but I have a sensitive stomach. When I travel I often get sick when I get home or on the way home from all the microbes my body doesn't like. I guess I am just hyper sensitive like that. Most people deal just fine with it.

Sit down and think about what you're hungry for. You body is telling you it needs some sort of nutrient from it. Most people just cram whatever into thier mouths.


Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:17 pm
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