View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Sat Dec 16, 2017 10:59 pm



Reply to topic  [ 106 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next
 One liners 
Author Message
newbie

Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 3:34 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Pembroke, MA
Post 
"Anonymous sources are to journalism what silicon enhancements are to the feminine figure; they look impressive to the gullible, but something doesn't feel right. "
--Larry King


Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:04 am
Profile
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
Here's some of "The Critic" for you,

-Passing...out...wine...drugged...no time for...hors d'oeuvres...well, maybe just one.
-This is the day I start killing you, the way I do it takes sixteen days, this is step one...I'm going to give you a stupid hair cut.
-I know you tried to kill me, but you did have sex with me, that puts you a little ahead in my book.
-The peanut is neither a pea, nor a nut...oh wait, it is a nut.
-Oh my god, I can't believe I'm going to make love with the thing I have the most contempt for in the world...we are going to make love aren't we? Oh lord, please say yes!
-I'm not wearing any pants. I split my pants and now I'm not wearing any.
-(sign reads) The Museum of Natural History--we take the fun out of Jurassic Park.
-Jay:You're an insipid walking commercial, and your cereal turned my urine pink.
Hippo: But you'd have to eat six bowls of that that stuff for that to happen.
Jay: Yes, and a gallon of chocolate milk, but that's beside the point.

Oh, and Victory "A day without sunshine is like, night" I believe comes from Steve Martin.

*edited cause I can't spell stuff, uhhhhhhhhhh


Last edited by Anonymoose on Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Sun Mar 19, 2006 6:09 am
Profile
newbie
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2005 12:43 am
Posts: 60
Post 
From Mark Twain:

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me now I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him."

Voltaire on goverment:

"An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination."


Sun Mar 19, 2006 5:40 pm
Profile
newbie
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:41 am
Posts: 44
Location: My own little world
Post 
Moose, I think I love you for being a Critic fan. From that show, I give you Orson Welles:

"Oh, what luck! There's a french fry stuck in my beard!"

(FYI, I believe it's "hors d'oeuvres".)


Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:26 pm
Profile
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
Thanks, I knew I spelled it wrong, I just didn't know how. I was going to wait until someone said something, cause I'm to lazy too look it up. And I love you too schnaxy baby, here's some critic fo' yo' bad self, also from Orsen Welles,

-Rosebud...peas. Yes rosebud peas, they're full of country goodness and green peaness...wait, that's terrible, I quit.

-Heaven is full of Mrs. Pell's fish sticks...mmm, they're even better when you're dead.

Here are two I made up while in conversation, it sounded funny while I said them, I wonder if it will still be funny here,
-For the love of God, don't become a christian!
-I need a spanking like donald trump needs a hair stylist


Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:58 pm
Profile
user

Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:32 pm
Posts: 94
Location: Mountains of Biege
Post 
"welcome to the land of pointless and destructive"

Not sure it counts but I liked it. Can't remember where I heard it, maybe a song of some sort. Or from your average human at the bus stop. Enjoy.


Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:11 am
Profile YIM
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
And now for some Jack Handey "Deep Thoughts"...and other things by Jack Handey
-I guess of all my uncles, I liked uncle Caveman the best; we called him uncle caveman because he lived in a cave, and sometimes he'd eat one of us, later on we found out he was a bear.
-On the other hand, we have different fingers.
-It takes a big man to cry, it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
-Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-I wish I had a cross made of kryptonite, then I could keep away both super man AND dracula.


Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:58 pm
Profile
+ Regular
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2002 7:00 pm
Posts: 950
Post 
THAT'S what's wrong with the 21st century! God, it was staring me in the face for five fucking years...

Despair the coming of the Diamond Age, O Child, for hardly anything in the future is worth quoting.


Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:08 pm
Profile WWW
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
Not having anything worthy to quote is a sign of the coming apocalypse? You ARE good...

It does make me sad to think though, that there will never again be anyone as original as Monty Python. And what shows we could take refuge in, our children will never see. SNL is down the tube, S.C.T.V is banished to dvd-dom, and Kids in the Hall is...Kids in the Hall.


Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:46 pm
Profile
+ Regular
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2002 7:00 pm
Posts: 950
Post 
"We could have saved it, but we were too darn cheap and lazy."

-- Kurt Vonnegut, as quoted in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas


Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:21 am
Profile WWW
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
Pray for us Rev, may we see the error of our ways...and congrats on your 900th post. Whoopie-cushions!

-Edited because CR is a hero, let's all clap for it.


Last edited by Anonymoose on Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:02 am, edited 2 times in total.



Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:52 am
Profile
newbie
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 5:19 pm
Posts: 72
Post 
The Reverend will more likely prey on you if you don't watch the spelling error of YOUR way.

And to think, with all that verbage you've managed to spew on this board, you could have at least kept your spelling up.

((Post-Edit notes: Will the bb-code EVER be back up?))
((P-E note 2: Hero of the people!))


Last edited by CathodeRey on Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:41 am
Profile YIM WWW
regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:26 pm
Posts: 325
Location: The Forest.
Post 
Oh CR, is one mistake so bad? I can tell you hate me for posting so much, perhaps you have a point...I will leave for a week, and make you all happier. Oh, before I go dear CR, there is a space between 'at' and 'least'.


Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:00 am
Profile
newbie
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 5:19 pm
Posts: 72
Post 
No, one mistake isn't so bad. I was just tired of coming onto the board day after day and seeing another 15-20 posts under your belt and wondering how nobody, and I mean NOBODY, cared that you seemed to never stop talking.

You have been here for under a month and you are two posts away from matching my old ava's post count. I had joined in late 2004. Do you post in your sleep?!

Forget it, I am just a bitter old user. Post until the cows come home, I no loger care.


Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:25 pm
Profile YIM WWW
regular
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:52 pm
Posts: 425
Post 
I cared.
And I KNEW you were my favourite for a reason.


Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:37 pm
Profile
* Spitelord
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2002 7:00 pm
Posts: 1204
Location: Hooters
Post 
She may have posted to much, but she gave us lazy bastards something to reply to. Eerie how the board's nearly simmered to a stop after she stopped posting.


Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:36 am
Profile WWW
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 106 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software for PTF.