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 One liners 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2005 11:03 pm
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Bucketette, perhaps?

Edit: Fuck you Inky! The bucketette is mine. I'll fightcha for it.


Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:44 am
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I'm gonna have to go all regional on y'all, and propose buc


Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:00 pm
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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage"-Smashing Pumpkins


Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:19 pm
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"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."


Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:19 pm
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HA! I love that episode, I saw it recently too. The only Simpsons quote I can remember right now is,
"Hurry nibbles, chew through my ball sack"
Did you hear about the Simpsons movie?


Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:49 pm
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Yeah, it was in Wikipedia's list of non-hoaxes on April Fool's Day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_1%2C_2006

Damn good list, despite everything being back to normal.


Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:06 pm
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"Movies aren't stupid! They fill us with romance and hatred and fantasies of revenge. Lethal Weapon showed us that suicide is funny"-Homer.

Mmm...Simpsons movie *droooooool*


Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:15 pm
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Variations on a theme:

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -Terry Pratchett

"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish...and his wife!" -Mr. Pickering, "Andy Richter Controls the Universe"

A small part of me wishes that I could be excited about the Simpsons movie. Sadly, I've found the show crashingly unfunny since season 9 or so.


Fri Apr 07, 2006 7:15 pm
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These were found at random sources:

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead, do not walk ahead of me, for
I may not follow, do not walk beside me either, just leave me the hell
alone.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
-- Charles Babbage

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
-Stephen King.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
-Emo Philips

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Philips

"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with." -Dennis Leary

Ok, so some of those are a tad bit more than one line, but they were worth the extra ten seconds it took to read them, right?


Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:02 pm
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Those certainly are cute quotes.

I've got another one, a real short one. "We come in peace, shoot to kill" --Star Trekkin' by The Firm. It's always struck me as amusing, and the song's been running through my wee little mind for days.


Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:07 pm
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If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit suprised-Dorothy Parker

* wallet, your avatar scares me.


Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:27 pm
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Some random quotes from lecturers:

"The textbook is absolutely right ... well actually, not really."

"The difference between a magnetic field and an electric field is like the difference between man and woman."

"If it makes it easier, visualise it as a five dimensional hypercube."


Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:27 am
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Here are some lyrics from The Presidents of the United States of America,

"I met a DJ who lived in seclusion, reality and sobriety were her only delusion"

"Everybody wants to be naked and famous"

"You seem cool for a naked chick in a booth, let's be pals someday"


Sat Apr 08, 2006 10:42 pm
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I want to be naked and famous :(

Well this isn't ACTUALLY a one-liner, but I did get this from an actual college letter that was sent to me:

"YOU'VE BEEN PRE-ACCEPTED*!!!


*Subject to satisfying admissions criteria and being approved by our Admissions Board."


Sun Apr 09, 2006 2:43 am
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"The Presidents of the United States of America" ~Moose

I'm going to see them when they play here next month. I only have their first album and I hear the rest is somewhat disappointing, but what the hell. What a band. Terrible, and yet so brilliant. Ah.

"Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane"

But do song lyrics actually count as one-liners? It feels like cheating to me. There will be nothing more from my collection of novelty/gimmick bands.


Sun Apr 09, 2006 6:28 am
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I'm sorry, I think "everybody wants to be naked and famous" counts as a one-liner. But no more, if you found something wrong with my use of lyrics, I'll restrain myself.

* My estimation of you just went up a couple hundred points by the way. In my group of "friends", no one even knows who The Presidents of the United States of America are. If it's not rap or wannabe punk, no one knows who it is.


Sun Apr 09, 2006 3:29 pm
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