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* Spitelord
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You win first prize for mangling "a lot" more than any other person on the face of the earth.

Flick: Do one about NeoBokrug busting into a newb's house, unplugging the computer, and shouting, "NO!" Then he could touch someone's boobies and eat a baby. Maybe add other carnage until a fleet of heavily armed cops show up and he uses tard-rage to destroy them. Think along the lines of Dad's Home, only more gory. The other Spitelords should be there too, raping and pillaging and making everyone feel bad about themselves.


Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:44 am
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Nacho, your talent for pulling worryingly graphic images out of your butt seems not to be restricted to the realm of dead toddlers with a penchant for Mr. Sheen.

Bravo, good sir.

Maursus: It's a nice thought, but it wouldn't last a minute. I'd need a bit of a story, like 'one firefly flatulates and kills all the others before they can escape from inside the bulb. The light dims considerably as the bodies of dead and dying flies gathers in the curved base of the bulb.'
But not that.


Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:31 pm
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Can we make this live action? Please? Unrehearsed, like REAL TV!


Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:59 pm
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"Dad's Home" was seriously fucking funny--but Neo destroying things would be more gratifying, and possibly funnier. I'm torn.

I've always wanted to ruin Leonardo di Caprio's life by convincing him he has the power to faith-heal people, then exposing him as a fraud, in front of the entire world, after he makes his ability public. You could make an animation about that, Felix.


Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:50 pm
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Man, anything that messes with that guy's head is good by me.


Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:14 am
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This is more a question of aesthetics more that anything else:

When doing the layout for a book with a massive amont of footnotes, mulitple paragraph footnotes and footnotes including block quotes, what would be the least ugly way to number them? Generally, of course, you would have the number out to the side hanging indent style, but what do you do at the second paragraph? Indent and make it dissimilar to the first paragraph? Leave it flush and risk it looking like a wall of words? Leave the first words dangling so they get all mixed up with the numbers? I am so confused.

I tried indenting all the paragraphs equally, but that left the little footnote number all by itself in the margin, which made it look like it wasn't really a reference to anything.


Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:46 pm
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Why don't you just superscript the numbers and put all the footnotes on a separate page? Hagakure did it well, with the numbers resetting and being sorted with each chapter. Also, The Annotated Alice in Wonderland did a good job with it. Check your private message inbox and I'll send you the eBook version.

By the way, if that's you, I'd like to fuck your hair.


Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:23 pm
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But then they would be endnotes and not footnotes. There's nothing better than a page mostly filled up with useless miscellanea that could never Ever have any bearing on reality, with just that one little sentence with the one little phrase that brought on such a tirade. Especially to a bookwhore such as myself. You get a much better impression of the annotator's original intent and pace. (But, maybe that's just me.)

p.s. my hair would like to fuck you too.


Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:35 pm
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Aesthetically speaking, use the superscripting, and then make the footnote font unreadably tiny and italicized. Cram as much as possible at the bottom of the page. Leave the very next page blank to cleanse the visual palate. Rinse, repeat.

Without the blank page, the reader would burst into tears, thus blurring their vision and preventing them from reading at a steady pace. Bonus points are obtained only if they have a breakdown after finishing.

P.S. Fuckin' A! Hot hirsute action!


Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:43 pm
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Agreed, sir.


Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:26 am
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You can either indent the paragraphs, and tuck the superscript (it should be superscript, nacho is right) inside the indent so that the number sits neatly against the line of justification or you can not indent your paragraphs. Instead, use a small space between them and allow your superscript to sit slightly outside. If you have several numbers per footnote that may be the better option, you'll have to look at it though and see what appeals to you.


Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:41 am
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I'm applying for this three week art school in the summer. I have to answer these questions:

Explain your commitment to your art form, what it has meant to you in the past and how you see it impacting your future development and career goals.

Describe a significant experience that has had a profound effect on your life and/or your work as an artist.

I'm not still not really sure where to start. Any tips? The discipline I'm applying in is Visual Art, by the way.


Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:52 am
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Seeing as how this is for an art school, coupled with the idea that these are potentially unverifiable facts about your life, I suggest you bullshit as creatively as possible--and chock it with pathos!

Example BS for question one (schmaltz): I'm committed to visual art because, in the past, it has been the art form that has best helped me to convey my thoughts, ideas and dreams. Where words can be clumsy and obtuse, visual art can make the intangible tangible, and bring a definite shape to the amorphous.

I hope to hone these skills in the future, in the same manner a writer expands his vocabulary, so I can masterfully and succinctly express myself in my chosen medium. My dream is to design the cartoon mascots for cereal boxes, so future generations of our children can stare at my very soul, each and every morning over their bowl of wholesome, sugar-frosted goodness.


Example BS for question two (guilt-trip): When I was little, my grandmother used to paint. I'd watch her splash down a mass of colors and breathe life into a blank canvas. I'd help her mix paint and dance to the sweet, soft music she would play on those lazy summer afternoons.

Three years ago, on Christmas eve, a fire ripped through my grandmother's house, leaving nothing but a blackened, crumbling frame that looked like the skeleton of some great, long-dead leviathan. My grandmother got out, but just barely.

I went to visit her in the hospital. As I held her hand, she awoke and smiled at me, ran her fingers through my hair--but she stopped abruptly, wide-eyed. "Did anyone save my paintings? Did my paintings get out of the house?" My heart dropped. Tears distorted my vision. I blinked hard and softly shook my head, feeling the hot tears roll down my cheeks, only to leave bitterly cold trails behind them. Her hand went limp.

At her funeral, I vowed that I would continue her work. I would learn to paint as beautifully as my grandmother, so that one day I could share the same lazy summer afternoons with my own grandchildren.


You might want to go with a different story if your grandmother didn't die in a fire, since the truth may come out someday--but you get the gist. Basically, just pull shit out of your ass.


Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:31 am
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Hah, thanks, the first one was very helpful. I might have to save the guilt idea for another occasion though, because I already had an idea of where to go with the second question. I think most of my trouble is just arranging my thoughts. I've never been very good at essay type things.


Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:55 am
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Dear Spitelords:

I have a terrible problem that I need your combined help in solving. My friends have taken it into their heads that I like DC comics. Each time I get a present, someone gives me something relating to Superman or Wonderwoman, when all I really want is Wolverine or Spiderman.

How do I stop this cycle of bad taste before it takes over my life?

Yours,
Frustrated.


Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:53 am
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Your friends are gay. Not gay "bad," as is the common vernacular, but straight up closeted, cross-dressing, window-treating queermosexuals. Be patient, and wait for the Jesus-raging American government to cook up an anti-gay drug, which you can administer to them via blow-dart.

But, until such a drug is invented, a quick solution is to roll up the Wonder Woman comic, hit him on the snout with it, and firmly say, "No. Nnnno. Bad, friend. Baaaad. We don't do that in the house." Then rub his nose in it.

Go, go, Gadget upside beast-mark!


Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:12 pm
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