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 Gruphology 
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So, first post, oh em gee, and what not.

So, here is my problem. I personally am not all that active sexually. I mean, I am a pervert of the mind and voice, but not in action. I recently got my first 'peck kiss' (at 16. Sad, I know. </self pity>) and had told a friend. He said he was suprised, and if I had hung out with him outside of school more often, I would have gotten much more, much sooner.

Later on, I had made a comment about my mum being out of town for two days, and he said it would be a perfect time for us to hang out. Me, being the total ignoramous of the flirting world said "Okay" since he offered me a ride home. Getting a ride home rather than blading the 3.11 miles between my school and home is much more appealing. Plus, I need to gain weight.

Anyway, apparently he had been talking to a mutual friend of ours the day we were planned to hang out, saying that I was going over to his house after school to fuck him. The mutual friend relayed this to me, knowing it was out of character (I think he may have a wee crush on me, so I guess he was covering his own paranoia... *blushes*). To say I made myself scarce after school is an understatement. I had to strip down when I got home from fear of dying of overheating.... I had stupidly worn long black clothing on a day when it was 80-something degrees out. -.-;;;

What I want to know, is what the hell I can do to this bloke for saying something like that about me. I am not a whore, nor would I like to be thought as one. He is a nice person, but I want to show him that I am not some slut that will lay back and open her legs.



I have another group of people I must exact my revenge on, (Yes, that does make grammatical sense, you wannabe nazi. *eye twitches*) but the recesses of sleep are demanding I rest my head upon their bosom, and what not.

Thank you kindly.

Edit: It's not easy being green... and not being banned for it. - sunder (no more colors please)


Tue May 03, 2005 11:19 pm
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Don't post in green. Read the rules.


Wed May 04, 2005 1:49 am
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You're in high school? Spread rumors that he's gay. That's pretty vicious, but it won't really hurt him (unless you're in the south) and it'll certainly remove the chances of him talking about having sex with you.


Wed May 04, 2005 12:27 pm
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Yeah, sorry about the color, it was getting late..... Ect.

The rumours idea is a nice one, but this bloke is Bisexual, so it has kind of been nixed. The irony is, we live in the South.... Are you stalking me? *twitches*

Thanks for troubling yourself, though.

The other group I must cause utter discomfort is those who were bunched with me to make a film for our Lit and Film class. It counts as 20% of our yearly grade, and the goaste loving bastards haven't been doing jack shite. They made me Director, even though I had told them that I would be out of town for a week at the DECA International competition. While I was gone, they fabricated the idea that I had all the notes, so they were unable to work.

For one, I did not have the notes, for two, I had spent 12.95 a day to have the internet to be able to get online to write the script with those who were designated.

They did not get on.

So, now they are putting my grade in danger of completely fucking up my high school graduating ability, and are making my life a living hell, already adding onto the medical problems which caused me to not go to school today.

Therefore, I wish they could feel the way I feel.

Anyone know how to do voodoo magick?


Wed May 04, 2005 12:54 pm
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Wow your pretty stressed out for a 16 year old girl. What does that make you a sophomore? I don't think there is anything you can do as a sophomore to stop yourself from graduating, short of murder. But I do have some help to give... For this directoral debut of yours, just make sure that your movie has opening and closing credits, and make sure that they both say, Director: Captiva, Producer: Captiva, Boom Operator: Captiva, etc. etc. Oh and also call it a Captiva JOINT! Like Spike Lee does, that way everyone knows it's yours. And when your teacher asks your group questions, make sure that your the one answering them all. Your teach will be able to tell who did all the work.


Wed May 04, 2005 4:03 pm
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Don't credit yourself for everything on a per-job basis; it's annoying and cliche. Instead, during the credits, roll clips* of your partners slacking off and screwing around. Give yourself credit for everything you actually did, and assign insulting fake credits to the deserving parties.

i.e.:

    [color=yellow]DESIGNATED SCREAMING IDIOT: Jennifer Makkekis

    BEST PRE-PUBESCENT BOY: Thomas "Inch-High Private Eye" Palos

    APESHIT-RETARDED CLASSMATES: All of You
    [/color]




*You'll need to film these beforehand, of course.
---

I'll be unavailable for the next three months. Hamster, I suggest you not email Stanford anything, and I doubly suggest you not send the dude letters by post. Look into legal [color=violet]ways to mess with him[/color].


Wed May 04, 2005 9:44 pm
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It's not really funny to spread rumors about him being gay if he isn't.

Alright, invite him over again, don't do anything, say you had sex with him and act pissed off because he gave you herpes. Since he runs around bragging people won't believe him when he says he did no such thing and he won't get laid for years. If you want to have sex, get tested and show it to anyone you want to do anything with and let them in on the joke.


Thu May 05, 2005 1:13 am
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REVIVE'd! This is my current anti-troll project, painstakingly linked for the enjoyment of all who care to tl;dr it.


Sun Jan 08, 2006 4:23 am
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I'm thoroughly enjoying your efforts on that board. Actually, I just enjoy your type of sarcasm. Come back and post more here too, like you did earlier. It makes my day and the days of many others I'm sure.

It could just be me though since I enjoy a vicarious thrill every time it happens.


Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:50 pm
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Hell Yes! Your return Rev. is an omen like that boy with the bowl haircut. And the barking dogs and the bleeding... things...

*gazes into the distance*

And I have to say that things haven't been the same without you- Hey look at that I've got some brown on my nose.
*wipes*


Mon Jan 09, 2006 4:13 pm
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That's okay, boy; it's an emotional time for everyone.


Mon Jan 09, 2006 10:43 pm
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Post Plaffluence use the activitytime affliction of our
Magic "through the" no success worthy of reflection ?


Zuying, Tan Jing, etc. will advice out in the Fair


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Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:25 pm
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Post Re: Gruphology
Tell me more of this "nipple dysplasia."


Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:35 pm
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