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 The messed up dream thread 
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/me blushes and looks a little embarrassed.

Last night I dreamt that my Mom handed me a long, typed-out essay which explained exactly why she thinks I should cut my hair. It was on one sheet of paper that was very, very long, like off a roll or something. Also when I tried to read it, I could see swirling psychadelic color all around the edges of my vision. Her prose style seemed to akin to surrealist literature. She had neglected to use paragraphs or any kind of divider, though, so I just scrawled "tl;dr" at the end and handed it back to her. I'm sure there was more to it than that, but that's all I remember.

Good ol' fever dreams.


Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:40 am
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I have a lot of recurring dreams. They always appear to be set inside a computer game world - a world that's very small but full of interesting details and crazy, 'splody stuff.

Last night I was in a strange, outdoor place that was littered with unusually shaped buildings. The place was very small and seemed to repeat itself indefinitely; if I kept running in one direction I'd only end up back where I started.

I did a lot of stuff there, but the only incident I remember was when I found a time-travelling device. I wasn't sure whether it was real or not, so I decided to put it to the test. I travelled back in time, but the place didn't look any different, so I went over to a group of people sitting nearby and asked them what date it was.

They said some date a few years in the past. I beamed with joy -- it really worked! Then I walked straight back to the time machine and went back to the present.

I could have done something really cool with that time machine if I knew what the hell I was doing.


Tue Sep 05, 2006 6:45 am
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From #spite:
10:44 <nacho> I just dreamt an eight-foot tard took on a prehistoric eight-foot tall squirrel.
10:46 <nacho> The tard grabbed it and tried to break its back over its knee. Then the squirrel got pissed and grabbed the tard's shoulders and headbutted him. This angered the tard, so he headbutted him back. Then the squirrel got pissed and bit his head.
10:46 <nacho> Tard mimicked him again, and bit his head back.
10:47 <nacho> Then the squirrel got REALLY pissed and bit his head and pulled the flesh from the back of his head, all the way to his neck, showing his skull underneath.
10:47 <nacho> The tard, doing the whole monkey-see monkey-do thing, did the same to the squirrel.
10:48 <nacho> It was fuckin' epic.
10:54 <TheGuy> XD
11:06 <NeoBokrug> The only dreams you remember are with tards nacho.
11:07 <nacho> hahaha
11:07 <nacho> They're the most haunting, I guess.
11:07 <nacho> There was other stuff in the dream.
11:08 <nacho> Like a cricket-like bug that was part plant that could release a foul-smelling fluid whenever a cat threatened it, so the owner would blame the cat for peeing on the floor.
11:08 <nacho> I got to see a whole documentary-style thing about how the fluid was made using its own flowers.
11:09 <TheGuy> O_o
11:09 <TheGuy> Who needs drugs with dreams like that?
11:09 <nacho> I was drunk when I fell asleep.
11:10 <nacho> And there was also shower stall bumper stickers in the dream that encouraged me to masturbate in the shower.
11:11 <nacho> The walls were covered with them, but the only one I remember was a green one with white lettering saying "RUB YA DICK."
11:12 <TheGuy> Hahaha!
11:15 <TheGuy> Meaning 'Rub your dick' or 'Rub, you dick' ?
11:16 <nacho> My brain would've put in the comma, so it was "rub your dick."


Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:17 am
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Post Spider!!!
I had a dream last night that a big spider fell down into my ass crack somehow. I'm not even sure how it fell down there, because I was clothed in the dream.

The End


Thu Sep 28, 2006 3:29 pm
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I had a dream where I was Bart Simpson and someone very close to me just died ((my brain insists that it was Groundskeeper Willy)).

I went to tell my sister and we were heartbroken about it, we cried.

It was a drug overdose, Willy was a good man.


Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:37 pm
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It wasn't the Halloween episode where they look after Mr Burn's mansion and Bart has the shuning was it?


Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:38 pm
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The Shinning.


Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:22 pm
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I'm sure they said it kinda like Shuhning or something, so they didn't get sued. Shinning sounds like a form of torture.


Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:24 pm
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Nope, twas the shinning.


Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:54 pm
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I dreamed that I turned 18 and went into a tattoo studio and asked the guy to tattoo me with the first thing that came into his head. This happened to be a massive yellow lighting bolt on my forearm with the word "FLASH" written across it in big block (yellow) letters.
I was thrilled with this, apparently, and dyed my hair yellow to match.
Then I ran into my dad who gave me a lecture on why tattoos are stupid.
This is bizzarre for 2 reasons:

I've not spoken to my dad since I was 12

My dad has 2 full arm sleeves, a massive shoulder/back/chest piece, about 6 women's names written on his arms (and then crossed out) and half leg sleeves.

Then I woke up.


Sun Oct 29, 2006 6:23 am
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A few weeks ago I watched MirrorMask, and as a result I've had quite a few very strange dreams lately.
I can't remember all of them but this one was the most vivid:

I was observing, as an outsider, a race in the arctic at night. There were all these jolly, fat, old english gentlemen with pipes and moustaches riding llama-like creatures. And as they went along, weird things would happen to put some out of the race, for example the ground would open up and swallow them. In my head I could hear a commentation saying stuff like "Oh and there goes The Duke of Fothingworth as his llama-thing (they had names, but I can't remember) falls victim to an orca, and Mr Poppington takes the lead..."
This went on for a while and it became clear they were racing toward a huge rock-tower on the horizon. Only 3 gentlemen reached the tower, and 2 managed to climb to the pinnacle. There, the prize was eternal glory and power borne in a sleek black mask.
The winner put his trophy on and transformed into half (literally, as in straight down the middle) the english gentleman he was, and half shining black; like marble.
He stood on the tower and beheld the landscape as thunder and lighting clashed, and his opponent lay sobbing in a foetal position behind him.

Being the conclusion of the race, I woke up.


Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:53 am
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I dreamt Sunder was the driver of the shortbus, and all the Spitelords were on it, on their way home. We were driving through a shitty neighborhood, when out of the right side of the bus, we could see two elderly people just going at it! The old broad was laying on the dirt on a curb with rocks and broken glass under her, her shirt pulled up, and her floppy wrinkly tits hanging to the sides, her back arched. The old man was pushing her shirt up and passionately kissing her stomach.

We all turned to look, even Sunder, despite the fact that he was driving. I said, "You GO, old people!" Aye said something like, "He's too long for me," which at the time made me think he was too tall, but now I wonder if she meant he was too old, or his dick was too long.

Eventually, Sancho and I made it to our stop, and we got off the shortbus, and started walking home. On the way, we found a kitty on a waist-high dumpster eating some kind of meat. The kitty looked kind of rough, and had ass-fault (the condition in which a cat gets brain-lock and licks its ass until the fur is all matted down and nasty). We decided to take it home, but it wouldn't come, so we got Sancho's kitty, Bacardi to help coax it, and it came along.

When we came to the apartment, a guy was standing there with two dalmatians, and I remember thinking that they eat kitties, but it was too late; the dog had the kitten's head in its mouth, and was biting down. I managed to pry the damn dog's mouth open to free the kitten, and succeeded despite the pain from its sharp teeth.

The owner of the dalmatians just stood there like a slackjawed asshole, just staring, and the dog tried to get the kitten again. Then the dog got into the apartment, and all my kitties were there, so I kicked it in the goddamn face and out of the apartment and bitched the guy out until he left.

I returned to the apartment, and couldn't find the kitty anywhere. I started searching behind furniture, at which point, my clock went off, and I woke up hating dogs even more than I already do.


Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:50 am
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I can remember a dream that I had quite a while ago. It was kind of odd.

In the dream, I was a grey pigeon, and I was at a tennis court in Wimbledon. There were two horses on the court, a grey and a palomino, and they were getting married. Then, a peregrine falcon arrived, and told me that the world was about to be invaded by aliens. I flew up into the sky, and into outer space, until I found a large, donut-shaped space station type structure.

I had to plant on bomb of some kind on it, but I woke up before I was able to.

Recently, I've been having half-waking hallucinations. They occur when I lie down to rest during the day, and try to force myself to stay awake. I lie with my eyes open, and hear voices, feel things touching me, and sometimes see objects in the room transform into strange creatures.

Some of them are quite frightening. Recently, I saw the ghostly white figure of a girl standing in the centre of my room. She approached me, whispering softly. She flew into my open mouth, then out again. She repeated this action several times. It really felt as though something icey cold, like a strong breeze, was flying in and out of my throat and mouth. While this was happening, I could hear her whisperng, "Come to me", in an eerie, echoing voice. And every time she entered me, I felt sicker and weaker.

I managed to shake myself out of it, but it was a while before I was able to come out from under the covers.


Thu Nov 02, 2006 8:15 am
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A few nights ago I dreamed that a bilaboo* spider bit the tip of my index finger while I was swimming in a river. Thing is, it had 10 legs and bit me my pushing its little bitty legs into my finger, so I ended up with ten punctures in a small circle.

* Bilaboo spiders are a complete fabrication created by my curry-saturated brain. Any resemblance to spiders, living or dead, is unintentional and completely coincidental.


Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:30 am
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Last night I dreamed that I was attacked by a group of thugs near Sainsbury's in Chingford, North East London. I felt quite angry about this, and later approached one of the men, who was sitting on a step somewhere. I wanted some kind of revenge, so I started to punch him in the head. (I'm not usually a violent person) He didn't react at all. So, I stuck my fingers into his eyes, and pushed and pushed until I was in his eye sockets up to the knuckles. He still failed to react.

I pulled out his eyeballs and ate them. They looked (and tasted) like cherries.

After that, I walked around London singing "I Touch Myself" very loudly, but I kept on getting the words wrong.


Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:24 am
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I had a dream that I was inside a car that sinking into the ocean we where on the bottom of the ocean the windows of the car are not broken its completly frozen in there then all of a sudden I was in my house but it was under water and my friends where trapped out side but they where in a air pocket and this random guy showed up and opend the door thus popping the air pocket, then I woke up


Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:11 pm
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