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 The messed up dream thread 
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You're kidding, right?


Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:37 am
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Aridarr had me thinking the same thing, Munky.


Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:11 am
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Not for the same reason, surely?


Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:11 am
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Far from the same reason, but the same reaction works perfectly.

Aridarr's entry sounds like its lying to seem cool, whereas Vito seems to have forgotten where the fuck it is.


Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:00 am
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Yeah, that's it exactly. I knew you'd understand, flick.

I am regretting the decision not to use the word 'fuck' in my first post on this page.


Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:41 am
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I am taking a trip to 'merica next year which I am MOST excited about, that being as it is I keep dreaming about it.
In one such dream the person I am staying with (being wonderful as ever), took me to a theme park (I believe it was universal) where I had fun and tried to buy a birthday present for my best friend.
I couldn't decide on anything (they sell a LOT of stuff that she would love) I decided the only proper course of action would be to take her a roller coaster. I did. I got charged for excess baggage, which in retrospect, wasn't unreasonable.
She liked it and put it in her back garden.
The end.


Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:57 pm
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When I was in eighth grade, my father and I created a conspiracy theory. We decided that there were men in fuzzy brown suits, (which they had sewn together using orphans' blankets) who were in charge of our fair city. Years ago, they became aware of a growing rat problem. The "exploding rats" were wandering around the city, 'sploding in people's living rooms and whatnot, making people all sorts of frowny. So, they introduced the sewer squid. Well, the squids multiplied all over the place like rabbits, dragging small children into manholes, drains, whatever they could manage, followed by munching the poor things. This hardly fixed the problem, and to this day, it isn't any better.

Well, last night, I dreamt that ryuuko, nacho, my spiffy man, and a mutual friend all crawled into the sewers, armed with exploding rats, which we used as grenades to lob at the squid. The only specific memories I have are of me pouncing upon my man, and nacho cackling as he threw another "grenade" at a target.


Mon Dec 04, 2006 11:07 pm
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I've been trying to get the entire Mystery Science Theater 3000 series off bittorrent. After I started downloading them, Sancho hooked his old computer up to the TV in the living room, so we could watch our downloaded shit in there. However, the computer is nowhere near the router, and we don't have wireless, so I've been burning 135GB of episodes on 4.7GB DVDs, which has been time-consuming.

I dreamed this morning that we found a way to write data to introns--the junk portions of DNA. Not only could we write to pre-existing introns, but we could tack on more to add data capacity to our DNA. It took a while to perfect the method (they kept getting removed pre-mRNA translation, so we kept having to rewrite), but by the time I woke up, I had full on MST3K DNA


Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:00 pm
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Long-winded account of an extract from last night's here.


Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:14 am
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It's been a long while since I've posted, but I had a pretty weird one a couple nights ago.
I dreamt I was watching an episode of Family Guy. God had come down from earth and became a total meth junkie and forgot or just didn't care enough to make his way back to heaven. So needless to say he was a giant train wreck. Next thing you know he was breaking into the families garage to steal their car and Brian (the dog) caught him and asked, "What the hell are you doing."
To which god answered, "I need to borrow your spaceship it's totally cool... I'm god."
Things got a bit hazy after this. The next thing that I remember clearly, Brian and God were totally spun and getting pulled over by the cops, both were fucked outta their minds and God kept yelling, "We can't pull the car over, it's a spaceship!"
Damn I wish I'd remembered the fuzzy part but oh well.


Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:51 pm
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I was sitting on a thinly upholstered bench in a huge auditorium. Across from me were other people, sitting in either parallel or perpendicular benches, some facing in my direction. The floor was a deep purple, and gradually sloped down into a conic declivity to my front left. The ceiling and far wall were shrouded in heavy darkness, and felt low and close--although it was impossible to gauge their distance. Everything was dimly lit, but could be clearly seen.

A red-headed man who sat next to me on the bench started bragging about himself. When he noticed my disinterest, he spoke louder and more aggressively, attempting to attract my attention. Finally, he flicked open a folding knife and tried to jab me in the shoulder, at which point I took the knife away from him and threw it into the distance. Enraged, the red-headed man produced another knife, which was given the same treatment. After I'd thrown eight of his knives across the auditorium, he turned away from me and huddled into the far corner of the bench. Everyone fell asleep.

When I awoke, seconds later, there were hardly any people left in the vast room. The red-headed man was gone. I remained silent, watching the other people on the benches. Practically everyone else was involved in a conversation. None of them talked about anything interesting. We all fell asleep again.

The next time I awoke, there were only four or five other people whom I could see throughout the room. They were staring at parts of the floor, the benches, or each other, in a general and unfocused way. Then everything resolved into a flash of light. I was glad I hadn't been taken from the room the other couple of times, and felt the room itself was a good mechanism for pairing up similar people.


Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:28 am
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I was having some weird chest pains, so I researched a bit on the internet and found out how to remove my heart without it being fatal or permanent. So I went ahead and cut out my heart and stashed it in the freezer.

Shortly afterward, I somewhat regretted it, and realized that any attempt to exert myself resulted in an unpleasant, full-body tingling/dizziness/weariness that made me worry if it was truly a non-fatal procedure. I decided to stick my heart back in after the weird feelings, so, as per the internet instructions, I started to thaw it first in a pot of boling water, then in the oven. (Un)fortunately, at the time, my mother was seeing two separate doctors for an illness of some sort--a holistic hippy guy, who came to do a housecall while I was thawing my heart, and a real doctor at a hospital. I refused to ask the holistic guy about sticking my heart back in, since I view those types of people as quacks, so I called mom up while she was visiting the regular doctor who I still view as quack, but only slightly less so. The holistic doctor was begging me to tell her not to go through with whatever procedure she was planning but I just gave him a dirty look, and awkwardly mumbled to mom that I wondered if her doctor had any advice because "I sort of cut out my heart." She hissed "You did WHAT?!" which abruptly woke me up.

Upon waking up, I put my hand on my chest to see if I could feel a heartbeat, which I couldn't. Then I remembered I could never feel a heartbeat through my chest, and went for the neck pulse instead, which I couldn't find until after about 30 seconds of consciousness, after my senses started to boot up.

I think it means I need to stop reading fairy tales about people cutting out hearts.


Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:19 am
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I drank some wine that caused me to take a spontaneous old-man nap for a few hours. This was my IRC chatlog upon waking:

12:40am <ryuuko> You asleep?
(01:03:40 AM) nacho: I was!
(01:03:57 AM) Lyssa: Was?
(01:04:00 AM) Lyssa: Was what?
(01:04:09 AM) nacho: Asleep. Wrong window.
(01:05:47 AM) Lyssa: Eep.
01:03am <nacho> I was!
01:06am <nacho> I was dreaming about a crazy airport.
01:09am <nacho> It would lockdown multiple times a day under the false pretense of containing a virus or something that was loose, so they had to search everyone, but everyone knew they were lying and would just look disapprovingly or cynically at the guards and the guards would cut their pre-written schtick, and just go about searching everyone quietly.
01:09am <nacho> Then there was an asshole in the giftshop who would give people a hard time, and he was funny.
01:12am <nacho> He saw a kid with really long hair and was all "Hey, kid, what's with the head?! When your hair is so long it grows out of the middle of your head like a bear, then your head IS a bear, okay?"
01:12am <nacho> Which is a dumb insult when you're awake, but fucking hilarious when you're asleep.
01:14am <ryuuko> XD
01:14am <ryuuko> Dude, wtf?
01:14am <nacho> I dunno!
01:15am <nacho> My head is a whacky place!


Wed Oct 03, 2007 12:31 am
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This was another wine-induced dream. :|

I was working with House M.D. after a big disaster happened. We were in his office (which wasn't really his office on the show, because I've recently taken to making up scenery and people I've never seen before in my dreams for some odd reason) and the parents of two chicks who were in the disaster called to threaten legal action for their kids dying.

Foreman got an idea and brought me and Cuddy along to watch. He took us to a room where the chicks were slabbed out, very naked and very dead. He turned the defibrillators up to 11 and zapped the chicks.

They slowly came back to life, color draining back into their pale, blue lips. Foreman ran off to tell House the good news. THEN SUDDENLY--!

The girls jumped up and descended upong Cuddy! They ripped open her shirt, revealing her round, firm tits with inverted nipples, and tore her skirt up the middle. One of the chicks started to moan and grind and kiss her while the other moaned and grinded the first moany-grinder's butt.

So, here I am, watching some kind of lesbian rape threeway with a fictional character and recently ressurected corpses, ropes of thick pussycum stringing out whenever one pulled back for another mighty hump. So what do I do? I look up at the cameras on the ceiling that are watching the whole thing and I give a big ol' thumbs up!


Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:34 pm
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I dreamed about the destruction of the world. Me, Neo and Sancho were at K-Mart, farting around, when the lights start going out and people start freaking. I think that they're freaking out pretty hard for a little power-outage, but Neo and Sancho are calm and ask if I've forgotten the date again. The walls start shaking and there's a loud booming outside, so we decide to drive off.

While we're driving down the highway, I see UFOs--Big, chrome, egg-shaped ships orbited by two smaller ships. They were attacking fighter jets and people on the highway. Neo asks me if I remember the date now, and I say, "Oh. 2012. End of the world. Gotcha."

We keep driving, avoiding cars that have either been attacked or are just driving insanely. One fishtails in front of us across three lanes and into the median, shooting sparks out from below, because its tires had been torn off from some sort of high-speed tokyo drift. Neo asks if we want to hit the Wendy's.

We sit outside at Wendy's eating burgers and watching the UFOs shoot everything around us. They only attack large buildings and large groups of people, blasting them with a big red laser doohickey. I figure they're doing demolition and extermination for some reason. I was right about the first part.

I try to find the rest of my family using Sancho's cellphone, but the satellites and electricity were already kaput. We drive there and find out my mother and sister have been using the house to take in people who had their homes destroyed by the UFOs.

We travel out to a city, and I go for a walk through the rubble. The smaller UFOs are still going around, picking off larger groups of people. One hovers right over me, close enough to touch it. The underside is a smooth cone, with varying sizes of shiny red lenses going around it. It hovered for a while, but since I wasn't in a group, it let me go.

The aftermath was mostly people living alone, outside, in makeshift tents. It turns out they were just thinning our herds and making sure we didn't have a place to come in from the cold, because they were dumping chupacabras down to hunt us. Or maybe they WERE the chupacabras. I never found out for sure. The rest of the dream was mostly exploring the rubble of buildings, buildings that weren't destroyed, and avoiding chupacabras when it got dark out.


Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:32 am
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Last night my stressed and overheated brain produced this nugget:

I was sitting at a table with my boyfriend and a friend of his who was quite plainly telling me they wanted to kill and/or simply destroy me while the boy stuff sat and told me I wasn't trusting enough. The friend disappears and then something else probably happens. This part is vague. THEN I had to go and buy a lightbulb.

This being the only part of the dream that actually makes sense as I have been trying to find one and there's every chance I'm not succeeding because a giant question mark of a man is preventing me from doing so

So I go to the lightbulb store where I was confronted by The Riddler (who I'm actually quite sure was dressed as The Joker now I think of it) who had his face all in shadow and then he vanished (so he's apparently part house elf part joker part riddler in my head) and appeared in various other locations (this time dressed properly) before I wake up and quickly close my eyes again in case he actually is there.



Wow run on sentence.
Thassit.


Wed Sep 03, 2008 10:44 pm
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