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 Zombie Survival Kit 
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* Spitelord
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The Herkimer Battle Jitney Z Edition. It is fueled by my Rage.


Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:53 pm
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KBKarma wrote:
Monster trucks/tanks!


A few problems. Tanks require more than one person to drive and operate the turret, so your idea requires that you brave the zombie uprising with a friend. If this friend is Milla Jovovich however, you're all set - might as well be banging your way into the apocalypse. Also, both of these vehicles require knowledge of their maintenance and spare parts in the event of a breakdown, and these might be quite hard to find in deserted cities. Video games have taught me that whenever your torch requires batteries and you're stuck in a shopping mall, you won't find them. Lastly, what do you do when your only chance of escape is down an alleyway? A tank sure won't fit down there, and smashing down the walls might prove harder when you're surrounded by the brain-hungry undead. I spend far too much time contemplating zombie uprising scenarios.


Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:53 am
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In a tank or monster truck (or some cool hybrid combination), there is NO FEASIBLE REASON why you would have to escape down an ally. You'd be in a vehicle that could either crush cars (in both cases), drive over most large objects without crushing them (monster truck), or blow all kinds of unholy shit out of them (tank).

However, you're right that it requires two men to use the tank. In which case, if I had a tank, spare parts (or some kind of Fallout-esque knowledge of how to fix a tank without parts), and enough energy, I would indeed include Milla Jovovitch in my kit.

Of course, I could just rig up some kind of automated system using cameras, pneumatic arms and an auto-loader. Which removes the need for an extra mouth to feed, and means that I can bomb across the landscape with nary a care for a left-behind comrade, cackling with glee and joy.

Actually, I thought of another good ground vehicle: a hovercraft. Those things can go hell for leather if you just hit the throttle. Turning's a bitch, though.


Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:50 pm
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KBKarma wrote:
...there is NO FEASIBLE REASON why you would have to escape down an ally.


Not even Milla?


Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:05 pm
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I'm tempted to try the pretending to be a zombie thing, as seen in Shawn of the Dead. So I guess I'd want a make-up kit in my survival kit?

If that didn't work, a gun with one bullet. Survival is not an option for me because I am neither the hero nor Milla Jovovich. All I can hope for is death before the zombies eat me alive.


Fri Oct 19, 2007 2:43 am
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According to the Zombie Survival Guide,* zombies can tell when live prey is faking, so you'd be totally screwed if you even attempted it. Hope you're quick on the draw with your one bullet!

I've only read a bit of it so far, but the most logical course of action seems to be a boat, since zombies sink like stones and don't decay fast enough to bloat up with gas and float. This makes pirate-life the perfect way to go when faced with the Zompocalypse.

A boat with pirate Milla Jovovich as the "cabin boy," of course.


* You can convert that copy of WWZ from the ridiculous lit format into html using CLIT! But beware; it'll make baby Jesus sad.


Fri Oct 19, 2007 2:44 pm
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Ooh! Living on the coast may finally have its advantages (not that being more likely to be bombed by Nazis wasn't already a massive perk)
All I need to do is pop down the river and commandeer me a vessel.

I must read more of this zombie type stuff. Uninformed and vague nightmares just aren't cutting it.


Fri Oct 19, 2007 5:10 pm
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Historical zombie attacks!
http://www.archaeology.org/online/featu ... mbies.html


Thu Nov 08, 2007 7:17 pm
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That is an awesome link!

I'd also have Milla Jovovich in my arsenal. She's grand. I want one. :D


Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:30 am
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